The Truth About Heaven
by uncomplicatedButterFLY
Summary: Dimitri was never bitten. Everything goes according to plan. Adrian is left heartbroken on the sidelines. Happiness is never universal. Someone always gets hurt, the question is who? A story of love lost, found and realized. Set towards the end of SK
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello to anyone who might be reading this. This my first VA fanfic so please bear with me. It's set towards the end of Shadow Kissed and is my replacement for Blood Promise. I have used quotes from the book so please don't get angry. I've _acknowledged_ that I've used quotes from the book. Read, review and ENJOY!**

**Chapter One**

The attack had left its mark on the Academy. Faces were solemn and silence permeated the once bustling buildings. Funeral arrangements had been made for those who had been lost. It was a time for unity for both Moroi and Dhampir. No one had escaped unharmed. The loss of both students and staff had been felt by everyone. Life would never be the same for us. The Strigoi had achieved everything they'd wanted. They'd slaughtered our people, killed some and tortured the rest. The structure that kept us safe had been destroyed and the seed of doubt of any real safety had been planted. Terror and uncertainty plagued the thoughts of both Moroi and Dhampir alike.

Nowhere was safe.

Just before the attack, I'd been with Dimitri, my mentor. We'd been at the cabin, right at the edge of the school's boundary, when the attack occurred. Dimitri had taken me there after the dark effects of being shadow-kissed had overpowered me. A hatred that rivalled any Strigoi's filled me until the need for bloodshed almost consumed me. It was only with Dimitri's love and warmth that I'd been able to return to myself. He'd held me and made me realise that the hate and anger was not me and was instead caused by being shadow-kissed.

Lissa, my best friend, wielded a type of magic that was almost unheard of - spirit. And it was with this magic that she'd been able to bring me back from the clutches of death after the accident that had claimed the rest of her family. My 'resurrection' had bonded us, I'd become _shadow-kissed. _We were bound together as tightly as two people could be. However spirit also had its downside. Along with bringing people back to life, Lissa could also heal almost anything. She could also use compulsion almost like a Strigoi but this didn't come without consequences. Every time Lissa used spirit, an almost over powering darkness would leech its way into her. This was because spirit, unlike the other elements, was less physical and had more to do with the mind and soul. Her magic came from herself and using it drained her. There was a point when the effects of spirit had gotten so bad that Lissa had fallen into a deep depression and begun cutting herself. I felt powerless during this time. I was her best friend but I was also her guardian.

I was supposed to protect her from everything.

The funny thing was that for a very long time Lissa didn't even know she was a spirit user. All the while we thought Lissa had just been one of the few Moroi who never actually specialized, boy were we wrong. It wasn't until Victor Dashkov- a close family friend of Lissa's and for all intents and purposes an uncle to her- had kidnapped her and planned to use her as his own personal fountain of youth. Victor had an air user torture her until Dimitri and the Academy's other badass guardians were able to capture him. After this incident Lissa decided that the negative effects of spirit far outweighed the positives and began taking anti-depressants which prevented her from using spirit.

However after a few months later Lissa began to miss the magic. It was also during this time that we met Adrian Ivashkov- a royal who was infamous for his party boy ways. But behind the nonchalant facade, we'd found out that he was actually one of the very rare sprit users around. He'd come back to the Academy with us and was now learning all about the mysteries of spirit with Lissa. Of course Lissa had decided to ditch the meds and was now also learning to do all sorts of things with spirit.

But with Lissa off the medication and her magic back, the negative effects of spirit had also followed. This time however the all encompassing darkness was seeping out of her and going into me instead. It was like I was taking away her madness and putting it into myself. It was driving me to do all sorts of crazy things that I normally wouldn't do.

My temper was always on the brink of erupting and my mood swings could rival even those of a pregnant woman.

Before the attack the craziness that was being caused by Lissa's use of spirit had become so uncontrollable that I'd almost killed Jesse Zeklos. He'd tortured Lissa as a test in order for her to become part of his sick little group. Lissa had used compulsion in such an abusive way in order to stop him that the darkness that leeched out of her and into me was like an avalanche of pure hatred and rage. In my red haze of anger, I'd attacked Jesse and Ralf. I craved the bloodshed so much that I no longer understood what I was doing, it was as if my body had become a puppet and someone else was controlling me. If Eddie and Dimitri, as well as the other guardians, hadn't arrived when they did, Jesse and Ralf would probably be joining those being laid to rest.

As my mentor it was agreed that Dimitri would be the one to deal with me. He'd practically had to drag me away because I was still so full of rage that I couldn't understand why they weren't punishing Jesse and his little group for what they had done. The darkness almost consumed me and I was on the edge of breaking down. Dimitri held me in his arms and told me it would be okay, that the rage wasn't me. He made me see that the violence I'd just inflicted wasn't a means of defence, protection or even punishment but just plain savage. He'd brought me back from that edge and promised that he'd never leave my side, never allow me to become a monster.

It was that moment where we'd let our guards down and finally give into temptation. We'd made love in the cabin and forgot about the rest of the world, even if it was just a few hours. However those few hours of complete bliss were soon cut short when we'd realized that the school was under attack. He'd made me run back to the Academy in order to warn everyone. He'd sent me, not knowing how many Strigoi he might have to face on his own, or if he would even survive. His bravery need no words.

My warning had sent the school into lockdown which was a big part in how many people had survived that night. Alberta, the captain of the Guardians for the school, had sent me to one of the Dhampir dorms to help guard. But it was really the last place I wanted to go. I wanted to be with Lissa and make sure that no Strigoi even got within a 500 feet of her. But Lissa was with Eddie, one of the very few people I entrusted her with, so my worry about her could be put to the back of my mind. However Lissa's boyfriend Christian-who was also my charge for the field experience- was apparently going to meet up with her at their spot above the school's chapel. She was worried that me might have been caught out during the lockdown.

I don't know what made me do it but I disobeyed Alberta's orders and climbed out of the window to find Christian. I'd found him and was about to haul his ass back when we were attacked by Strigoi. The Strigoi had gotten a hold of me and his fangs were bringing me closer to my death when he caught fire. Christian- a fire user- had set him alight and saved my life. He'd begged me to let him fight with me instead of going back to the dorms which was what we were supposed to do. We headed for the elementary campus where they had the least protection.

We kicked so much Strigoi butt that as a team, we'd brought down more Strigoi than any of the other guardians.

By the end of the night we'd tallied our dead and found that their numbers were lower than expected, still any death was one too many.

However the Strigoi had not only killed our people, they'd also taken some. This was common practice among them; there was a limit on how much blood they could ingest. Also sometimes higher ranking Strigoi sent other lower raking Strigoi to fetch them 'snacks'. Of course, they also took people to turn them into one of them.

The Guardians, who usually didn't launch rescue missions, felt that the Strigoi had crossed the line. Those who were taken were usualy tallied with the dead but this was different. The Strigoi had gone too far. In our world, there were only a handful of places that were safe: the Royal Court and our academies. Children were sent to places like St. Vladimir's with the certainty they would be protected. That certainty had been shattered, and we wouldn't stand for that, especially if we could still save lives. A rescue mission was planned; we had to get back at the Strigoi. Everyone was ready for a fight. They wanted it. But this was more than our fight—it was the Moroi's too. When my mother said she'd gotten a number of teachers to volunteer—they absolutely wouldn't allow students for this—the decision was made. The guardians were going after the Strigoi, and novices and Moroi would go with them.

With Mason's help I was able to find where the Strigoi were hiding out. It was unbelievable exactly how close they were. Six miles from the Academy's boundaries were some caves that were more than big enough to hide the Strigoi during daylight hours.

A plan was made.

A team of fifteen guardians would go in from each side of the caves, accompanied by three Moroi each. Ten guardians would remain at each entrance to hold back any escaping Strigoi. With the arrival of more guardians, we set off to face down the pack of Strigoi that had destroyed our fragile sense of security.

We were a force to be reckoned with.

We'd arrived at the cave a few hours before sundown. The guardians executed the plan into near perfection. We'd gotten all of our people who were taken out, except for a pretty Moroi girl called Molly who'd been around my age. The Strigoi had gotten hungry, we found her drained of all blood.

As the battle neared its end, some of our people had gotten stuck in the cave. A part of the roof had collapsed in and made any escape almost impossible. They were being cornered and were also outnumbered. Dimitri and my mother were part of this group. Emil, one of the guardians in charge at my end of the cave had sent me in with Stephen, another guardian. We were to provide the back up so that the trapped group could get out. We helped kill as many Strigoi, assisting in allowing the others to escape. The exit of the cave was so close when we were suddenly ambushed.

One Strigoi went for Mrs Carmack but my mother had fended him off. Another Strigoi went for Dimitri. I'd already made it out of the caves by this point but when I saw Dimitri fall I ran towards him.

At least tried.

A guardian, I didn't know who, had grabbed me and was telling me to run. I heard someone yell, the sound echoing in the caves. It was a few moments before I realized the screaming was coming from me. Never amongst all the chaos did I think to worry about Dimitri. He was unstoppable, invincible. I'd convinced myself that nothing could take him down. I'd seen him take down Natalie without even a moment's hesitation.

He was a god.

"Rose. _Run!_" I heard my mother yell at me.

I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. Didn't she see that Dimitri was still in there? We couldn't leave him. My muscles locked into place, I was not leaving without him. My mother would have to drag me back the whole 6 miles kicking and screaming if she wanted me to go back without him.

"_Rose, please!" _my mother pleaded for me to move.

I should have run like she told me to. My refusal to move was also putting her danger. The sun was slowly but surely making its way across the horizon and the orange twilight sky was soon being replaced by the darkening early evening. My determination not to leave without Dimitri was endangering others and was going against every guardian instinct I had. The internal war I was waging had distracted me and when I looked upand blinked, I saw that Dimitri had won his fight with the Strigoi. He looked battered and beaten but he was safe. He'd begun making his way back to me. My body yearned to meet with him but knowing that he was okay, I turned around and ran towards the safety of the Academy.

Every muscle in my body was begging me to stop. My breathing was ragged but I knew stopping would only give the Strigoi a chance for attack. Every few minutes, I'd turn around just to make sure that Dimitri was still there. I needed to make sure that he was still following. He met every one of my gazes and my resolve to survive this would grew stronger.

By the time our group had arrived back behind the Academy's newly placed wards the sun had long gone down. We didn't think that the Strigoi would follow us back; their numbers had been substantially diminished.

All those who had been rescued were sent straight to Dr. Olendzki for check-ups. The guardians who tried to refuse were ordered to get them anyways. Dimitri was among this group. When we arrived safely behind the Academy's wards he was the first person I sought out. His struggle with that last Strigoi was where he'd earned most of his injuries. He had a few cuts on his face and his left eye was beginning to show the tell tale signs of a black eye but I suspected most of his injuries were internal. I saw the Strigoi push him into the cave wall like he was swatting a fly. For the first time since I'd met Dimitri I saw him stagger. However even while I was calculating the extent of _his_ injuries I could still feel his worry for _me_.

Apart from a few scratches I'd left the battle pretty much unscathed. I ran up to him and gave him a tight hug. He winced and I suddenly regretted my actions. I tried to stepped away from his embrace but was pulled back.

"Oh Roza," he breathed into my ear.

Just for a moment I forgot about the rest of the world. He was all that mattered.

"I thought you were dead," I sobbed into his chest.

I hadn't realized the tears streaming down my face. I'd come so close to losing him. Hugging him seemed so surreal. It didn't matter that everyone might be watching us. I had him back.

The world was good again.

Dimitri tightened his arms around me, like he couldn't believe he was hugging me either. We clung to each other. It was like if either of us let go, everything would fall apart. I was more than happy to continue holding on to the man I loved.

"It's okay, Roza. I'm here now"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys! Just wanted to let anyone reading this that this is the fastest I've ever updated. EVER. And again I also wanted to acknowledge the fact that I have used some quotes from the books. I thought they were too perfect and couldn't rewrite them in a way that would them any justice. And remember, REVIEW! They make me update so much faster. Anywhoo, on with the show.**

**Chapter Two**

Dimitri's strong clean scent was beginning to make me feel heady. I pulled back a little and looked straight into his warm brown eyes, seeing the love and affection that he held for me. My chest tightened. The fact that a few hours ago I had come so close to losing him made me appreciate him so much more. His soft lips smiled and I couldn't help but smile myself. My arms tightened around his neck a little, and again he winced. He still hadn't gotten his check-up.

"You really need to see Dr. Olendzki," I said.

"I will," he said, exasperated.

He sounded tired. After what we'd been through I was surprised neither of us had fallen into a coma. In fact I was surprised that none of the guardians had. As I looked around, I could see Alberta and my mother still helping the wounded get to the infirmary. I couldn't understand where their energy came from or how they still managed to be on their feet. If Dimitri wasn't supporting my weight I'd probably have dropped dead and happily fallen asleep in his arms. After what had happened at the cabin, Dimitri and I had agreed to keep our distance. Even though we'd also agreed that after graduation we would come out about our relationship, the bottom line was that I was still his student. We _needed _to keep our distancce, no matter how much it pained eith of us. Everybody around us was so busy though; that I doubted anyone noticed exactly how close Dimitri and I were. That is until my eyes met a pair of familiar emerald green ones.

Adrian was a little distance away from us and I could tell he'd been watching us for a while. When we'd left for the rescue mission, he and Lissa had been helping Dr. Olendzki with those who were injured. He was now making his way towards Dimitri and I. Though Adrian knew about Dimitri and me, I still didn't feel all that comfortable flaunting it in his face. Adrian was a nice guy, and on numerous occasions had tried to get me to go out with him. I think he genuinely liked me. I felt guilty, even though I hadn't led him on or anything. But then again, I guess between my charming personality and exceptional good looks, there was no way he could have resisted.

Just as he made his way towards us, both Dimitri and I let go of each other. Immediately there was nothing I wanted to do but throw my arms around him again.

"Little Dhampir, Guardian Belikov."

"Lord Ivashkov," Dimitri greeted him, albeit a little stiff.

I never told Dimitri that Adrian knew about us. Back at the Ski Lodge where we'd first met Adrian; neither of them had hit it off quite so well. Dimitri had called Adrian a 'negative influence' and Adrian thought Dimitri was a cradle robber. Things were always tense between the two. And though I'd never given it much thought, maybe they were jealous of each other?

"Why are you out here? I thought you were heloping Dr. Olendzki and Lissa," I asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright. Anyway I needed a break," he said in his usual offhand manner, "Dr. Olendzki says that everyone needs to be checked out."

"We will," I said quickly.

I really didn't want to be between the two. I could see them sizing each other up. The way they regarded each other was ridiculous. Adrian's eyes were relaxed but I could sense a sort of challenge in them. Dimitri, the taller and stronger one I might add, seemed to sense it too. I hoped his guardian instincts would be enough to put him off from having a punch up with Adrian. Just like me, I knew Dimitri warred with his temper. And even though his calm and stoic appearance hid it well, there were times when I knew he wanted to settle things with action rather chitchat.

Trying to change subjects, as well as play the mediator, I asked where Lissa was. Between the commotion of the rescue mission, Dimitri's struggle with the Strigoi and now his showdown with Adrian, I'd almost forgotten about Lissa. I felt like a real crappy friend.

Adrian's eyes flickered to me for an instance before he turned towards Dimitri again.

"She's in the infirmary with Christian and Dr. Olendzki," a voice from behind me said.

I turned around and saw Eddie Castile. His right arm was in a sling and he had some cuts on his face but apart from that, his injuries seemed minimal. I was so happy to him. Eddie had been one of the people that the Strigoi had taken. When the dorm that Lissa had been in was attacked he immediately set off into action. He fought alongside with the school's guardians and didn't even hesitate to put himself in danger. He was doing what he was trained to do. He was being a guardian.

"Eddie!" I squealed. I launched myself into his arms. Never had I been happier to see him. With his right arm in a sling, he gave me an awkward one-arm hug. Eddie had been Mason's best friend and when he died, he'd taken a sort of big brother role for me. Losing him would have almost been as unbearable as losing Dimitri.

"Rose. Can't breathe" he struggled to say.

I removed my arms from around his neck. He'd survived the Strigoi but I didn't want to hug the poor guy to death. I smiled brightly at him. He smiled back, giving me a boyish lopsided grin.

"I'm so glad that you're okay, Rose"

I was stunned. After being held hostage by a bunch of evil and sadistic vampires, he was worried about me? Do you see what I'm talking about? Total big brother behaviour.

"Me? Are you serious? I wasn't the one who was kidnapped buddy," I said jokingly.

Again he smiled. Even though I knew I shouldn't have been so happy - what, with the attack on the school and the death of so many Moroi and Dhampir - it was hard not to be. Everyone I held dear to me was alright. My mom, Dimitri, Lissa, Eddie, Christian and even Adrian, though I was surprised to find myself adding him to the list. It felt so surreal to have survived an attack of this calibre, but it was even more surreal that no one I loved had been hurt, save for a few scratches here and there. For the first time in a very long time, life felt like a fairytale. I was going to get my happy ending.

I was finally going to be able to tell the world about me and Dimitri. In a few months I was going to graduate, where I would then become Lissa's official guardian and move to the Royal Court with her. And my mom and I might actually have real relationship. The joy in me was enough to set the world on fire. Despite all the doom and gloom that surrounded the Academy, there was no other person in the whole frikkin universe happier than me at that moment.

Dimitri, Adrian and Eddie seemed to notice that I was no longer with them. My face probably said _'unavailable, be back in five minutes._' For all I cared Alberta could have been singing I Kissed A Girl or Dimitri could've started stripping and I wouldn't have noticed. Well except the last one. I would have _definitely _noticed him stripping. Beneath his jeans and T-shirt, the man was like Adonis brought back to life. After all like everyone says, Dimitri was a god. Trust me, I know from experience.

"Rose?"

Someone had been calling my name but I was so out of it to even notice or care.

"Rose?"

I blinked and realized that there was more than one person saying my name. I smiled for no reason.

"Did you hit your head?" Adrian asked.

Dimitri frowned a little, his forehead crumpling. I was just happy, couldn't they see that?

"I'm fine, really. I just spaced out."

"Were you with Lissa?" Dimitri asked.

Despite his concern for me, the guardian in him had to make sure Lissa was okay. Even though he was going to ask to be assigned to someone else in order for us to be together, he was still incredibly protective of Lissa. His passion to protect her was rivalled only by mine. Leaving Lissa was a big sacrifice for him. He cared deeply about her and her well-being but he cared about me more, and he had to make that sacrifice if he still wanted to honor his sense of duty. Anyway if Dimitri and I were too busy checking each other out, Lissa would always be in danger. She needed two guardians who were perfectly dedicated to _her. _

We'd talked about it once, after Victor had kidnapped Lissa.

He'd said, "I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."

I'd told him that of course I knew he'd have to do that but what he said next totally threw me.

"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you."

He'd stunned me into silence, a very hard thing do. He might as well have said those three little words.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head clearing my head of the memory. Dimitri's eyes were still filled with concern and I realized I hadn't answered his earlier question.

"No, I wasn't with Lissa. But she's okay, I can feel it in the bond," I said.

"We should probably bet getting to the infirmary. Orders are orders," Dimitri said

"Yeah, you should seriously get her head checked out while you're there," Adrian said jokingly.

Dimitri however seemed to take it seriously. I gave him a meaningful look.

"I'm perfectly fine. No concussion, I promise."

"You still need to see Dr. Olendzki."

I was about to argue when a fierce look told me to do otherwise. Dimitri wanted to make sure that I got the all clear. He cared more about my well being. His injuries were of no concern to him.

"So do you," I said instead.

I gave both Eddie and Adrian a quick hug goodbye before heading to the infirmary with Dimitri. We were silent as me made our way there, the silence was comfortable though. Dimitri was one of the few people who I didn't need to be witty or funny around. It was okay for me to just be me. I didn't feel the need to be loud or make jokes.

As we grew closer to the school's infirmary I began to feel Lissa more clearly through the bond. She was healing a large gash on the side of someone's face. I felt that hot and cold tingle that I got every time she used spirit. I felt like all the light and goodness in the world had gathered together for one single moment, it kind of felt like life itself.

Dimitri opened the door and we were bombarded with images of guardians and those who were taken, lying on beds or sitting where they could. Dr. Olendzki was frantically running about the place trying to treat everyone at once. I still couldn't see Lissa. I stood up on my toes, though it would have been easier to just ask Dimitri if he could see her because he was so tall, but who ever said I did anything the easy way? I turned my head around and finally found a patch of platinum blond hair that I knew could only belong to her. I immediately began pushing my way through the crowd trying to get to her.

She'd just finished with the person she was healing, when she turned around and saw me. Relief quickly washed over her features. With everything that was going on it was only now that I realized exactly how worried she was about me. She knew I was capable of kicking some serious Strigoi ass but it still didn't stop her from worrying. Tears began streaming down her face as she immediately wrapped me in a hug. It was like with Dimitri earlier. Only now, Lissa held on to me like she was making sure I was real. I wanted to reassure ner but no words came to me. Instead I hugged her back.

"I was so worried about you," she sobbed. She was trying to wipe away the tears on her face but they just kept on coming. "I didn't know if you'd come back. When the others came here and you weren't with them I got really scared. I thought something ha-had happened," she stammered. I patted her back soothingly. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay. "I wanted to go look for you but I needed to stay here and help so I sent Christian and Adrian instead. I was just so worried"

I gave her another hug.

"Oh Liss, you shouldn't have been worrying. I can take care of myself. You know that"

She was still quietly sobbing into my shirt. I hope she didn't mind, my shirt was dirty and probaly stank of sweat. I could feel her begin to relax a little in my arms.

"I know but I just had to know for sure that you were okay."

She stepped back to get a look at me. Her brow furrowed and she reached her hand toward the side of my head. Then I felt that hot and cold feeling again. Apparently I had a cut there. She studied me for a second, trying to see if there was anything else wrong.

'Liss don't waste it on me. I'm fine. There are plenty of other people who need you," I said.

A certain person popped into my mind but before I could say anything Lissa interrupted me.

"Where is Dimitri? Is he alright?"

For a second I thought that she'd read my mind and then I remembered, she was probably worrying about him because she hadn't seen him with the other group of guardians because he was with me.

"Oh yeah, don't worry he made it out. But he's pretty banged up. Do you think could you heal him?" I asked. Never had I asked her to heal me let alone anyone else. She gave me a strange look but said she we went to look for Dimitri.

We found him standing alone in front of a window. His stance made him look like he was still on the lookout. He probably was. He'd heard us approaching and turned around. He addressed Lissa with a small smile, clearly relieved that zhe was okay. Lissa gave him a warm smile, also glad that he was alright. To me, Dimitri gave nothing more than a nod. We were back to keeping our distance. I hated having to do it but remembered, there was more than my happiness to think about. Dimitri's reputation was also at stake.

"Rose said that you were injured."

Dimitri looked at me and then at Lissa. Comprehension flashed in his eyes.

"No Lissa. I'm okay. There's no need for you to heal me."

I was about to argue when Lissa said "Really Dimitri, its fine. I've been doing it all day." She was trying to reassure him but Dimitri could be just as stubborn as I was.

"All the more reason for you not to heal me. My injuries are minor; I should be fine in a few days."

Both Lissa and I frowned. Lissa really did care about Dimitri and wanted to help him. I wanted to make sure that he didn't die of internal bleeding. I gave him my fiercest look. I was trying to intimidate him, instead he smiled.

"Alright," he said in defeat. I guess he finally realized we just wanted to make sure he was a hundred percent okay.

Lissa led us to an empty room where she had Dimitri sit down on the bed. She preformed her magic best when it was quite. She placed her hands on his upper arms and closed her eyes. Through the bond I could feel her summoning the magic. I felt the light and warmth. My hand found its way in Dimitri's. I thought he'd let go but instead he intertwined his fingers with mine. His hands were large and rough from years of combat but they were warm and enveloped mine. I looked into his eyes again seeing his love for me. I felt my lips curving into a smile. The two most important people in my life were safe and for just a moment I closed my eyes and forgot about the destruction the Strigoi had caused.

I was at peace.

A shocked gasp brought me back to reality though. I looked at Dimitri making sure nothing had happened to him; he also looked back at me. Then my eyes turned to Lissa. Her eyes were glued to me and Dimitri, specifically at our intertwined hands.

She finally realized what I felt for Dimitri, that it was more than a teacher-student bond. I felt the knowledge light up in her mind. Countless connections suddenly came together for her: comments I'd made, ways that Dimitri and I acted around each other … it all made sense to her now, things she'd been too blind to notice. Questions immediately sprang up too, but she didn't ask any of them or even mention what she'd realized.

Instead, she walked out the door.

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	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Dedicated to my awesome beta booksrcool123. Seriously this chick is the best. When you're done reading this story, you NEED to go check out her work. Okay rant over, on with the show : )**

**CHAPTER 3**

My whole body was frozen in shock. I still couldn't believe that she'd just walked out like that.

"Roza," Dimitri said, breaking the silence. I had expected him to be in freak-out mode like I was but instead he was as calm as ever while I slowly broke down.

"She didn't even give me a chance to explain," I whispered more to myself.

"You should go talk to her. She was going to find out anyway," he urged.

_How could he possibly stay so calm right now?_

Dimitri's reputation was on the line. Everything he'd worked so hard for since becoming a Guardian could very well end up down the draini f we didn't fix this. Fast.

"What are we going to do?"

"Rose, she's your best friend. Lissa will understand everything; you just need to talk to her first. You should go look for her," he said.

What he'd said made sense of course but the look on Lissa's face just before she walked out still plagued me. She was so confused and hurt; I'd never seen her like that.

Dimitri had still been holding my hand but when he let go, I immediately looked up to see his warm brown eyes frowning down at me. I could see his love and care for me but I could also see his worry. He cupped my face in his hands and gently placed a kiss on my lips, it was so gentle that I'd barely felt his lips against mine.

"You're right. I just hope she'll listen to me."

"Of course she will. She's your other half," he said softly.

"No she's my sister, _you _are my better half."

He laughed softly at this. "Roza," was all he said as his thumb caressed my cheek.

It was times like these that I was really grateful to have someone like Dimitri in my life. Even with all the craziness happening around us, he could still set me on the right path. He was my rock, one the very few constants in my life right now. If I had lost him in the cave today only God knows what would have happened to me.

"You should probably go looking for her now," he whispered gently. I could tell that it was probably the last thing he wanted me to do but he knew I had to. Heck, _I _didn't want to go. But then the image of Lissa's face when she walked out the door flashed in my mind and it was like a splash of cold water reminding of what I had to do.

I gave Dimitri a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back. He let his hands fall from my face, instead pulling them around me. I really needed to go look for Lissa but I also just needed this right now. A few moments wouldn't hurt anybody.

"I should really let you go now," he sighed after a little while.

"I know."

Dimitri let me go. Between the two of us he definitely had the most willpower. Besides, I _really _needed to go look for Lissa.

Leaving the room where Lissa had healed Dimitri, I made my way to the clinic's reception desk. I was hoping someone had seen her. My head was so full of worry about the situation with Lissa that I hadn't even seen the person I walked straight into. Christian stumbled a little but eventually got his balance. He looked super pissed and was about to start yelling when he saw who he'd bumped into.

"Rose, what the hell?" he huffed.

Yes, Christian actually huffed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you," I said. Christian looked at me, and I mean _really _looked at me. His icy blue eyes bore into me, like he was looking for some big secret. I'll admit, Christian and I might not be as hostile towards each other like we used to be but this was weird.

And slightly uncomfortable.

"Take a picture, Ozera. It'll last longer." I snapped. His unyielding gaze was really starting to get to me.

"No thanks, don't want to break any cameras,"' he smirked.

Ah. There's the Christian I know.

I scoffed, "Break your camera? You'd be lucky to have a picture of such a beautiful creature like me."

"You're so modest, aren't you?"

A witty retort was about to pass my lips but I remembered what I'd been doing before bumping into Christian. Now was not the right time for one of our verbal sparring sessions.

"Whatever. Listen, I need to speak to Lissa. Have you seen her?"

Hopefully I didn't look like a maniac. I didn't need Christian interrogating me right now. That funny look appeared on his face again; mission failed. I thought he was going to call me out on it but instead he said "Yeah, she was just talking to Alberta."

_Alberta. _

Words could not describe what I was feeling. I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights, the world disappeared and I was semi-aware of someone – most likely Christian – shaking my shoulder.

_Why would Lissa be talking to Alberta? She wouldn't... _

No.

I had to stop myself from finishing that thought. Lissa might have disapproved, but she was my best friend. She wouldn't turn us in. I'd been through so much for her. I was there for her though every hard moment in her life. I protected her, not because it was my duty but because I loved and cared for her. There was no way that she would just throw that away.

"Hello. Earth to Rose?"

Christian had been shaking my shoulder and while he tried not to look too concerned, I could tell he was worried about me. I must have really spaced out.

"Would you stop shaking me? I'm not a bobble head," I snapped.

Relief washed over Christian's face. He immediately let go of my shoulders and took a step back.

"Jesus Rose, what the hell happened to you? One minute I'm talking to you, the next you're off in your own little world. And it didn't look like you were having a good time either."

He really was worried about me. It was a real testament to how much our relationship had improved since he and Lissa had started dating. A year ago, if someone had told me that Christian Ozera would be concerned about my well-being, I would have laughed in their face.

"I just spaced out okay? I really need to go speak to Lissa"

I was about to make my way around the corner when he stepped in my way. Again.

"Rose, what's really the matter? And don't tell me you just spaced out because what I just saw wasn't spacing out. You looked like you just saw a ghost."

It was ironic really. A few weeks ago, the prospect of me seeing a ghost had terrified that crap out of me. Now I talked to them. Well, not so much a _them_ but more like a _him_.

"Christian, I don't have time for this right now okay? I just need to talk to Lissa," I said as I pushed my way past him.

Jesus, it really shouldn't have been this hard trying to find to _one _freaking person.

**Okay guys, I know it's been forever since I last updated but real life has been getting in the way. A LOT. And your reviews haven't really been helping much either. They're like my inspiration. I need them. I don't want to sound like one of those writers who refuse to continue with their story unless they get a certain amount of reviews but seriously, would it kill you to write like one sentence to tell me what you think? Feedback is really good. So please remember to REVIEW. Oh and I'm really sorry if this chapter wasn't what you were expecting but it's all I've had time to write. Plus its help me get rid of my writer's block. **

**Xx**

**-u. ButterFLY- **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: hey guys! Here's the new chapter. Happy reading!**

I'd looked for Lissa in every room in the infirmary but still couldn't find her anywhere. I was getting more and more worried. It wasn't like her to just disappear; she'd even blocked me out. My panic began to rise and I was just about to tell Dimitri when I felt her call to me through the bond. _We need to talk, I'm in the attic._

Relief washed over me but was just as quickly replaced with fear. What if she'd told Alberta about us? What if she'd told my _mother_? But I knew Lissa, she wouldn't just hand me to Alberta like that. She knows that Dimitri is one of the best Guardians around and had even grown to care for him so I just couldn't comprehend the idea that she might have reported us. Lissa was also my best friend, for her to do this to me would just be all sorts of wrong.

There were a million thoughts running through my head and my fear almost swallowed me. I started to make my way to Lissa, pushing my way through the crowds and running when there was room. The school's small chapel was packed with both staff and student, Moroi and Dhampir. Some were kneeling in the pews while others just sat, looking like they were beyond consoling. I imagined if Dimitri hadn't come back from the caves that I might have been one of them. But I didn't want to think too much about that. I had other things on my mind that needed attention, like the possibility that my best friend might have just turned me and Dimitri in to Alberta. Yes, there were other things that needed my full attention right now.

I took the steps to the attic two at a time. My heart was just about ready to burst through my chest when I reached the top step. Lissa was seating on the window sill. Her face was turned towards the stain-glass but turned around slowly when she heard me arrive. I didn't know what to say and for the first time in our friendship, I was terrified of her. Lissa looked up at me, her jade eyes filled with hurt and anger. I was just about to say something, anything to fill the tense silence that tinged the air when Lissa whispered, "Why don't you trust me anymore?"

I was shocked. There had never been a time when I didn't trust her. Lissa knew everything there was to know about me but in the past few months I had been keeping my share of secrets. Most of them were to protect her, she didn't need to be worrying about anything, and she already had so much going on in her life. Adding more stress to an already stressful situation wouldn't have helped anyone. I wanted to say that I trusted her more than anyone but she just kept talking.

"You're my best friend, Rose. Practically like my sister. You're the only family I have left," she said. Pain tinged each of her words and I felt them cut me deeper than anything ever could.

"Liss, I do trust you. You know that."

"Then why didn't you _tell me_! I tell you _everything _because I _trust _you_," _she yelled. Lissa rarely ever raised her voice and when she did it was for very good reasons. She wasn't the type to just mouth off because she was in a bad mood but right now she was seething. Her belief that I didn't trust her was absurd but if the situation was switched, I would have been just as pissed.

"I know. Lissa, I trust you more than anything but I couldn't tell _anyone _about us," I said. I could see that she was still angry but the rage that had just consumed her was now being replaced with guilt. She didn't like being angry at me and she hated fighting with me. We were bonded for life and hurting each other meant that we were hurting ourselves.

"I wouldn't have told anyone," Lissa whispered so softly, that if not for my Dhampir ears, I might not have heard it at all.

I walked towards her and sat down next to her, taking her hands in mine.

"I know that. It's just... we fought so hard for so long to ignore these feelings that- ,"I paused trying to get my thoughts clear but failing miserably, "God, I don't even know what to say!"

I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths. She already knew so I might as well have told her but I wasn't sure if I was ready to say it out loud. There were still so many things that Dimitri and I hadn't even talked about. I was just about to begin when Lissa interrupted.

"Rose, I don't want you tell me because you think you owe me, I want you to _want _to tell me."

Was my face really that obvious? Exhaustion and confusion mixed in my mind. I opened my eyes to see that Lissa was staring at me, expecting me to say something, anything. I took another deep breath, hoping that it would somehow calm me. It didn't.

"Liss, I don't know what to say... Everything's been a mess and honestly I don't even know when it happened or how. All I know is that even against all odds and against everything that we know is right, Dimitri and I fell in love," I said. Lissa was about to say something but I continued on, "I know that it's wrong. _We_ know it's wrong but we've been fighting so hard against our feelings for so long that it just became impossible to keep going on like that. It hurt to pretend that I didn't love him and it was eating both of us alive to turn our backs on something as rare and pure as what we have. Liss, there's no way you could understand but...at any moment we could lose each other."

I hadn't noticed the tears that were now freely flowing down my cheeks. Sobs were escaping my mouth and suddenly breathing became a difficulty. Lissa pulled her arms around me and was patting my back. I cried into her shirt as the sobs slowly overtook my body. It was only now that I realized that my love for Dimitri was stronger than what I ever thought possible. Sure Dimitri was my mentor and seven years older than me, and yeah we were both going to be Lissa's Guardians and of course there was always the rest of society to think about. Dhampirs, especially Guardians, getting together was seen as a waste of 'resources' because it meant that no more new Dhampirs would be created from this union -Dhampirs couldn't make babies with each other- but I didn't care. I deserved the right to love as freely as any other Moroi. I love Dimitri Belikov and there was nothing, anyone could do to split us apart.

I pulled back from Lissa, trying to get myself under control. She wiped the tears from my eyes and handed me some tissues.

"I didn't know you felt so strongly about him. I just wished that you told me. I feel like, I don't know, that you don't trust me enough," Lissa said.

"Liss, I trust you so much but for a while I wasn't even sure how I felt. Trust me, there were so many times that I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. At first I thought if I didn't say it out loud then maybe these feelings would just go away. But they didn't. They only got stronger until finally I realized living this _lie _would just consume me."

I shocked myself; I never thought that I would say so much to anyone. I'd been burying this inside me for so long that it felt really good to finally have it off my chest. Lissa looked just as surprised as I felt.

"You have to promise to tell me everything from now on okay? I don't care how minor but I want to know, no more secrets between us," she demanded.

"I will, I promise," I said, mirroring her seriousness.

It was quiet for a few moments but this time there was no anger between us. We were just taking our time, trying to soak up what just happened. I was happy that I'd finally told Lissa but I wasn't sure how she was going to deal with I'd just told her.

"He makes you happy. He's been good to you," Lissa said breaking the silence. I gave her a questioning look and she continued, "I've seen the way you've changed since you began training with him. Not that you were less dedicated to being a Guardian before but, I don't know. You've changed. You took everything more seriously; you stopped partying, drinking and all the other stuff we used to get up to. It's like becoming my Guardian suddenly became the only thing you wanted. At least that was how I saw it."

I smiled at her. I could tell that she was okay with what I'd just told her and I knew that even though she had been mad before, she hadn't told anyone else. Through the bond I could sense that she disapproved a little because he was my mentor, but other than that she seemed perfectly okay with me and Dimitri. Words could not describe how relieved I was.

"Thanks, Liss. I don't what I would have done if you weren't okay with it," I told her honestly; and really honesty _is _the best policy.

"Of course I'd be okay with it. Sure what you guys have might be unconventional but love is love. Who am I to stop it?" She smiled.

I gave her a tight hug and didn't let go until I noticed her huffing for breath. I smiled widely at her. I was just so grateful that not only was she on my side but she understood me. The bond might only go one way but I could tell that Lissa now understood why keeping this a secret was so important. We just sat there again, taking pleasure in our small bubble of joy amongst an otherwise chaotic word. Lissa spoke first.

"Rose, can I ask you something?" She asked hesitantly.

I didn't want to keep secrets from her anymore so I said, "Sure."

"Why did you fight against it? I know he's your mentor and he's older but after graduation you would have been fine. A lot of people would have disapproved but the way you described how much you loved him, I know you wouldn't have cared. Dimitri doesn't look like the type of guy that cares about what other people think about him either. So why did you turn you back on it?"

Lissa was just curious, she wasn't accusing or anything. She genuinely wanted to know. I debated on whether or not I should tell her. Telling her would just make her feel guilty for something that wasn't in her power to change but not telling her would also go against my promise to tell her about everything.

"We're Guardians, we live to protect you. We dedicate our whole lives to you. From the moment we are born it's drilled into us that you _come first. _Loving another Guardian, it's selfish. It means the lives of their Moroi are constantly in danger because how can you put someone else's life ahead of the person you love?"

Lissa looked at me and then turned her head towards the window again. She was deep in thought. I hadn't explicitly told her that she was the reason that Dimitri and I had fought so hard against our feelings but I knew she understood.

"It was because of me wasn't it?" she asked quietly.

I didn't know what to say but my silence would only make her feel even guiltier than she probably already felt.

"We were going to be your Guardians. If we were too busy checking each other out, it meant that your life would always be at risk," I tried to say jokingly. Lissa still wouldn't look at me; her guilt was already starting to eat at her. I shook her shoulder, "Hey, don't get mopey on me! Lissa, this isn't your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty for something you have no control over."

She turned around and I could see the sadness in her jade eyes. Seeing her like this just made me feel guilty.

"I wish I hadn't told you," I say to her.

"No, don't say that. It's just that I wish it didn't have to come down to you choosing me over him. I hate that you don't even get a say in the matter. It's just so unfair to you and Dimitri."

I still hadn't told her about Dimitri asking to be transferred to someone else. It was the only way that we would be able to be together without endangering Lissa's life. We'd talked about it before we left for the caves but I didn't want to be the one to tell Lissa. Not just yet anyway.

"We'll take it day at a time, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed.

**AN: I know it's a bit boring but this chapter was _very _neccessary. Remeber REVIEW! It takes a few miuntes and they make me very happy. And I update faster :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It's been almost a week since the attack.

The Moroi world was in chaos and St. Vladimir's was right in the middle of it. Kirova had declared a 2 week break for all staff and students. The funerals for those who had died during the attack were to begin tomorrow and a special commemoration was to be held for all of them this afternoon. Even though St. Vladimir's was now up and running – for the most part – everyone was still pretty shaken. Guardians from all over the world had arrived by the plane loads and there were now at least 25 of them patrolling the wards at all times. All this extra security was only going to last until the Queen and the Guardian Council thought it was safe again. I didn't think the Strigoi were going to come back anytime soon though. We'd managed to set all of our people free and take down at least half of the Strigoi. Of course we'd lost a few of our Guardians but this was what we trained to do. Everyone going into the rescue mission knew what we were up against. This was part of the Guardian life.

For the last four days, I'd been spending most of my time with Dimitri. I was following him around learning all of the Guardian protocol that followed an event like this. I'd also been seeing a lot of my mom too. Her Moroi was still at the school and wasn't scheduled to leave until next week. It was amazing to see how swiftly and efficiently Guardians did everything. Two days after coming back from the caves, they'd held the marking ceremony. We'd all be given a different kind of tattoo instead of the usual set of _molnija _marks we received. Everyone – even the novices – who had participated in the fight against the Strigoi, was marked with a Zvezda. The tattoo looked like a little star, it meant that the bearer had been in a battle and killed many Strigoi. We got the Zvezdas instead because there was no way of knowing exactly how many Strigoi I and the others had killed. Just like the time I'd gotten my first molnija marks, there had been no celebrations or congratulations. The tattoos that now decorated our necks served a as reminder for all the people we'd lost. They reinforced our hate for the Strigoi and made us remember just how our important jobs were.

Even though I hadn't lost anyone really important to me, this attack had seriously shaken my faith in the system that we used to protect ourselves with. When the school had been breached, Christian and I had combined our skills to guard the Elementary campus. Together, we'd killed more Strigoi than any other Guardian. When we went to the caves to rescue our people, we'd brought along some fire wielding Moroi, the Strigoi had never expected this and were very surprised. After the rest of the Moroi world had found out about what had happened and the involvement of magic, whispers of a movement for Moroi to fight alongside with Guardians began to surface. Christian's aunt, Tasha Ozera, was a big supporter in this movement. It was last Christmas at the Ski Lodge where she'd first put forward this idea. At the time, all the Moroi had been appalled by what she was suggesting but now it seemed to be the only thing people were talking about. Figures. The Moroi were always more about talk than action.

Politics always came first with them.

"Rose, I won't be able to train with you this afternoon," Dimitri said, breaking the silence. We were making our way back to the main campus, after making a quick round of the wards. He'd wanted to check in with the new Guardians to make sure that everything was running smoothly. Ever since the attack, Dimitri had become even more hesitant to let his guard down – not that he did it much before.

I cast him a sidelong glance, "Why?"

With all the craziness of the past week, we hadn't been able to resume our training sessions as soon as I'd hoped. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that we'd had our first session. You'd think that I'd be glad that I didn't have to run laps or do 200 lunges but my body needed it just as much as it loathed it. And after coming back from the caves at an almost sprint for most of the six miles I realized, despite how incredibly hardcore Dimitri's training was, that it had been the reason why I was still alive. The twelve laps of the oval he made me do each day had improved both my stamina and speed, things that Strigoi possessed superiorly to Guardians. It took years for us Dhampirs to even compete with the strength, speed and stamina that Strigoi had but eventually if you worked hard enough – like say, Dimitri – you could be a real threat to them. This was the goal for all novices and Guardians.

"I have a meeting," he replied. His face was neutral, as was his voice, but I could sense that he was hiding something from me. The Guardian mask was in place, making it impossible for me to read him.

"With who?" I asked suspiciously.

Dimitri looked at me for a moment before turning his eyes towards the full moon in the sky. He tilted his face upwards, making some of the loose strands of hair around his face to fall to the sides. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he closed his eyes and he began taking deep breaths. I just stood there looking – drooling actually – at the sight of him. His face was relaxed but his stance was as tense as ever, always ready for an attack. I grabbed hold of one of his hands in my own. A small smile appeared on his gorgeous lip and I couldn't help but smile too despite his strange behaviour. Dimitri squeezed my hand once before letting go. His eyes opened and this time he looked directly at me, putting both his hand on my shoulders. The intensity of his gaze made coherent thought almost impossible for me.

"Dimitri, tell me what's wrong," I whispered. His gaze was making thinking a difficulty but I still had enough brain power to realize that there was something wrong. He sighed before dropping his gaze. I could feel myself frown as I tilted his chin upwards so that I could see his face and demand that he tell me what was wrong.

But before I could say anything, Dimitri put his hand over my mouth and in one breath said, "I'm going to meet with your mother."

**AN : I know this chapter is short and you might think I cut it off a little soon but this is all I could come up with. So tell me what you think, yeah? ****REVIEWS ARE AWYS WELCOME! ****BTW I used some lines from Shadow Kiss in here. Can anyone pick them out?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_But before I could say anything, Dimitri put his hand over my mouth and in one breath said, "I'm going to meet with your mother."_

I was stunned into silence. Literally.

There weren't many moments in my life where I didn't have something to say, whether it was an opinion or an argument. But right now, my mouth and mind had other ideas; the brave Rose Hathaway disappearing at the mention of Dimitri talking to my mother. Of course we knew that she'd eventually have to know about us but I hadn't been planning on tell her until I'd at least graduated or moved to The Court with Lissa. Guarding Lissa was still a given but our bond, despite all the black marks in my record, would have to be considered and the Guardian Council _had _to realize that I was the perfect choice for her.

Dimitri could have at least given me a better warning before deciding to talk to my mother about our relationship. Our illegal and very complicated relationship. Illegal for now anyway. In a few days I'd be eighteen and in two months, a fully-fledged Guardian.

"Why?" I asked, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

I looked up at Dimitri, so strong and calm, nothing in the world could faze him. Except maybe the thought of telling Janine Hathaway, my bad-ass Guardian mother, that he'd taken away her baby girl's innocence. Yeah that had the tendency to scare _any _guy.

Dimitri looked down at me; his warm brown eyes making the world temporarily disappear. He placed his hands on either side of my face and lowered his towards mine, our foreheads touching. His lips were mere inches from my own, his hot breath mingling with my mine. I closed my eyes revelling in his closeness.

"Roza," he breathed. Dimitri's lips came down softly on my own, gentle and familiar. The kiss was sweet even if only lasted a few seconds. He was trying to reassure me, not that it helped much. I buried my face in his chest, trying my best not to show how terrified really I was.

"She might kill you, you know?" I murmured. Dimitri looked up the sky and I could feel the rumble in his chest as he chuckled. "Dimitri, I'm being serious!"

He smiled one of his rare smiles, the one that always had the ability to make me smile despite how horrible the situation.

"It's hard to tell," he smirked.

I couldn't believe how laid-back he was being about all of this. I didn't think he realized exactly how serious this was - a first for Dimitri. My relationship with my mother had improved significantly since the incident in Spokane but I wasn't sure if we'd come to the point where I could trust her enough not to rat us out to Kirova or worse, to Alberta. My feelings toward my mother were still a mix of resentment, abandonment and more recently, love. Resentment for not trying harder to be a part of my life, abandonment for leaving me at the academy to be raised by strangers and love because at the end of the day she was still my mother - and there was nothing I could do about that.

"Why aren't you freaking out?"

"I don't have any reason to," Dimitri countered.

I gave an exasperated sigh, "Dimitri, I really don't think that right now is the perfect time to tell my mother about us. "

"Roza, your mother deserves to know. She cares about you, despite what you might believe. Plus, it's best that she find out from us rather than an outside source," he said rationally.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest once more. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I could pretend that this conversation hadn't occurred and that I was actually on my way to practice with Dimitri. Of course reality always had other plans.

With our enhanced hearing both Dimitri and I instantly heard the sound of footsteps, signalling someone's approach. We quickly stepped out of each other's embrace not wanting to create suspicion for ourselves. Looking up I saw that Adrian was making his towards us. With a clove cigarette in one hand and a flask – most likely filled with Vodka – in the other, he sauntered over to us, the whole time smiling like the drunken fool he was.

"Little Dhampir, so nice to see you again. Have you been hiding from me?"

I took one look at Adrian and decided that right now wasn't the best time to speak to him. His hair was a mess, the bags under his eyes were dark and his skin was unusually pale, even for a Moroi. He looked liked he'd gone to hell and back. Repeatedly.

"Adrian, what's wrong?" I asked, concern lacing my words. It was pretty early and he looked like he'd already downed a whole bottle of Vodka, which was bad even for him. His eyes were hooded and the dopey smile on his face never quite left. Dimitri was starting to look concerned for him. And let's face it; Dimitri isn't exactly Adrian's number one fan.

"Nothing at all, Little Dhampir, nothing at all," he said nonchalantly. I had no clue how he managed not to slur his words. Adrian looked at me and then at Dimitri, still smiling, and said the last thing I ever thought he'd say, "You guys should _totally_ make babies together."

I cast a glance at Dimitri who looked just as, if not more, shocked as I was. Eying the cigarette in Adrian's hand, I began to suspect that they might not be clove after all. Adrian's behaviour was weird, even for Adrian standards.

"I think we should take him back to his room," Dimitri said a few seconds later.

"Good idea, Comrade."

Only God knows what would have happened to Adrian if he'd been caught by another Guardian.

Between the two of us, Dimitri and I had managed to coax Adrian into going back to his room at the Guest Buildings. It had taken little convincing on my part and a little pushing on Dimitri's but at last we got Adrian to his room where he ungracefully passed out face first into his mattress. After making sure he wouldn't be able to cause any harm to himself, we left Adrian in his room to sleep off the effects of the alcohol he'd unceremoniously consumed. If my guess was right, we wouldn't be seeing Adrian for a few days.

I followed Dimitri out of the building, waving goodbye to the Moroi on duty at the front desk. At first she'd looked alarmed at the sight of Dimitri and I dragging along a near-unconscious Adrian. However after explaining to her what had happened, she'd been more than willing to help us find Adrian's room.

"That was very strange," Dimitri said as we reached the entrance to my dorm.

"Yeah, it was," I agreed. Glancing at Dimitri I saw that he was still deep in thought about what Adrian had said. His brow was furrowed and his lips pursed.

"Hey, that was just Adrian being weird," I said. He still looked unconvinced. "He's been using Spirit more than usual hence the alcohol and cigarettes. Don't think about it too much."

"I'm not," he said, "it was just very odd."

It was my turn to look unconvinced. "Dimitri, forget about Adrian," I sighed, turning on my heel to make my way into the dorms.

There was no point arguing with Dimitri, he could be just as stubborn as me. Just as I was about to turn the handle, Dimitri wrapped his arm around my waist, hugging me closer to him. He was risking us getting caught by anyone who might decide to walk past.

But screw it, this man was mine and I didn't give a damn who found out.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. A light shiver ran through my body.

"S'okay," I sighed.

Dimitri loosened his arm around me and took a step back. I held back a sigh. He continued to look at me and I couldn't help but feel self-conscious under his intense gaze. I stared down at my feet for a few more seconds before turning back to make my way into the dorms again.

Dimitri cleared his throat; I turned around and raised my eyebrows in question. What I would have given to be able to do the cool one-eyebrow trick.

"I'm meeting with your mother at 4," Dimitri murmured, "would you like to come with me?"

I raised my eyebrows even higher. If I didn't know Dimitri any better, I'd say that he looked almost..._scared. _"Why?" I asked,trying my best not to smile.

"I just thought that y-you'd want to be present when I told your m-mother about us," he stuttered. My eyes must have bugged out of my head or something because all of a sudden, despite his earlier apprehension, Dimitri sniggered. I didn't think he realized _why _I'd reacted the way I had. Hearing Dimitri stutter was about as common as apples falling out of my ass.

"So will you?"

I hesitated before answering. I was weighing the pros and cons of going to Dimitri's meeting with my mother. "Sure," I breathed. I figured that the chances of Dimitri coming back alive would be a lot higher if I was around.

"Okay," he said. Dimitri gave me a fleeting look before making his way to the Guardian dorms.

Finally making it inside the building, I headed for the stairs before anything else could get in my way.

**-x-**

**Hey guys! I know it's been **_**forever **_**since I updated but I hope this chapter redeems me a little. I'll try to get another chapter up again by the end of next week but no promises. I go back to school again tomorrow. So please, put up with me a little longer, good things will come soon :)**

**Hugs, kisses and Russian Vodka**

**uncomplicatedButterFLY**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I stood in front of my wardrobe for about twenty minutes wondering what would be deemed 'appropriate' to wear to a meeting with my mother – a meeting that could result in the very real possibility of Dimitri's death. Why Dimitri would chose now to tell my mom about us, I have absolutely no clue. Waiting a few more months wouldn't kill him, exactly the opposite actually.

Sighing, I picked up my favourite pair of jeans and a red T-shirt. The weather had taken a turn for the better bringing with it unseasonably warm temperatures that were a far cry from the usually chilly Montana spring – summer was truly on its way. I only had about fifteen minutes left before I was due to meet my mom and Dimitri. After a quick blow dry and sliding some shoes on I pocketed my keys and made my way to the gym where Dimitri had planned to meet my mom.

I still wasn't completely convinced that right now was the best time to tell my mother about us. We'd have so many other opportunities to tell my mom, my birthday being one of them. But I trusted Dimitri and his decision. And truth be told the Russian _was_ right about one thing – it would best that my mom heard the news from us. I couldn't even begin to imagine how furious Janine would be if she'd found out about our relationship through the rumor mill. Not that my mom paid much attention to gossip anyway.

My depth of thought had prevented me from realizing how incredibly empty the grounds were. The Academy still hadn't reverted back to the usual nocturnal schedule. After the attack everyone thought it would be best if students were indoors during the 'waking hours' when Strigoi were most likely to attack. This meant that everyone – both Moroi and Dhampir – had to follow the human schedule. Most of the Moroi were understandably annoyed by this while the Dhamps welcomed the change. But even with the heightened security and daytime schedule in place many people still felt that St. Vlad's was still in risk of another attack.

I continued my way to the gym – feeling my heartbeat increase with each step that brought me closer to the inevitable confrontation with my mother. Breathing deeply, trying to calm my fraying nerves, I thought about how close Dimitri and I were to our happily ever after, how happy I was that I'd finally been able to tell Lissa about everything and how in a few short months I'd be a Guardian. All of these things were reasons why I should be one of the happiest people alive, even despite the tragic circumstances of the attack. There was just this one obstacle left in my path to complete and utter happiness.

The entrance to the gym was just up ahead and before I made my way inside, I stop at the door and close my eyes as a last ditch effort to calm myself down and to slip the Guardian mask into place.

"Rose?"

I quickly turn around towards the sound of the voice, only to see my mother looking up at me like I'd grown a third eye. "What are you doing here? Your training session was cancelled today," she said to me.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond, "Oh yeah, I know. Dimitri told me."

My mom raised an eyebrow – was I seriously the only freaking person left in this place who couldn't do that? – "So what are you doing here?"

"Umm… I'm here to talk to you," I said nervously.

My mom looked at me expectantly for a few seconds before realizing that I had nothing more to say. "Well, can we talk about it later? I have a meeting with Guardian Belikov right now."

This woman was killing me. How was I supposed to tell her that the reason she was having the meeting in the first place was because of me? Looking nervously down at my feet, I tried to think of a way to tell my mom that I was going to be part of this meeting.

"Yeah, I know. Dimitri invited me along," I said – it wasn't a _complete _lie. He really had invited me, just not for the reasons she might think.

"_Rose_," my mother sighed in exasperation,"what did you do _this_ time?"

It was an expected reaction, the only times that my mom had ever needed come into contact with the Academy was when I'd done something wrong. Like the time I dyed the school's swimming pool purple or when Lissa and I had run away.

"Mom, it's seriously not what you think," I told her calmly.

On the outside I was trying to be the epitome cool and collected, inside I was falling apart like the nervous wreck I actually was. She looked at me doubtfully still probably unconvinced that I wasn't in any major trouble. Heck, if I was in her place and had a daughter like me, I would be suspicious of me too. My mom made her way inside the gym while I followed along blindly. I could already feel myself losing the battle to stay calm and keep the Guardian mask in place.

Dimitri was already inside, seated gracefully among the bleachers, with one of his beloved Westerns in his hands. Hearing our approach, he set the book down and stood to greet my mother with a hand shake and a nod of acknowledgement towards me. We shared a knowing look before I broke the gaze, looking back down at my feet. My shoes had suddenly become the most interesting things to look at lately.

"Guardian Hathaway, thank you for taking the time to meet with me," Dimitri said courteously. He truly was a gentleman.

"No need for formalities here, Belikov. Just tell me straight, what has Rose done this time?" My mom replied as we sat on the bleachers.

I tried to look appalled and promptly failed. Admittedly, my mom had every reason to think that I really had done something wrong. And depending on how you looked at it, I guess I kinda did – seducing my hot, older mentor _could_ count as being 'wrong'.

"Janine, I promise you that Rose has done nothing wrong," Dimitri said earnestly," to tell you the truth, it is actually me who is in the wrong."

My mom looked between the two of us, trying to figure out what exactly was happening here. It was in that moment that I decided to swallow my fear and man up, figuratively speaking of course.

"Mom, we have something we need to tell you. You have to promise to listen to everything we have to say before you start throwing punches. And please, please, _please _remember that I love you very much," I said in one big rush.

My mother continued to look between the two of us before finally setting her gaze towards Dimitri. It was his turn now. Taking a deep breath Dimitri said one of the most terrifying things you could ever possibly say to Janine Hathaway:

"I am deeply in love with your daughter."

I swear on my life, the world stopped moving after he uttered those words.

* * *

A big hello to anyone still reading this story!

I know it's been forever since I last updated and I apologize for that. But since my school year is basically over now, I'll have plenty of time to update more often.

I wish that this chapter could have been longer but this is just a kick start to what I have planned. And to be honest, I really have no clue how I want Janine to react to the news… angry, happy, homicidal? Absolutely no clue. So please leave me review or PM me on how you think Janine should react.

Hugs and Russian Vodka,

uncomplicatedButterFLY.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

As the words left his mouth a sudden and unexplainable feeling of freedom overwhelmed me. It was enough to make me want to jump him right then and there. A second passed before I realized who Dimitri had just said those words to and my large, short-lived bubble of joy was no more. I froze after the realization hit me. Regretfully tearing my gaze away from his, I turned to look at my mother's face. I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting to find. Anger, disbelief, shock … joy? But there was absolutely nothing to indicate that she'd even heard what Dimitri had said. To put it simply, my mother looked completely and utterly blank.

Gently, so as not to cause any sudden reactions, I gave my mom a shake.

"Mom, you okay?"

She didn't even flinch and at this point even Dimitri started to look worried. There was just something abominably wrong with my mother's reaction, or lack thereof.

There were very few things in the world that I was absolutely positive about. First, Strigoi were evil creatures that had no reason to live and therefore must be killed in order to ensure the safety of all Moroi and dhampir. Second, Dimitri's love for me. And third, my mother's uncanny ability to overreact in any situation regarding me.

A few minutes passed before my mother finally made an indication that she was indeed still with us. She turned to look at me and regarded me in a way she had never done so before. It was like she was searching for the truth in my eyes or maybe she was expecting me to laugh and say that the whole thing was a hoax. I hoped with all my heart that what she saw was my love for Dimitri and nothing but. And I guess it was, because after the awkward silence and extreme tension, all she said was, "huh."

Yes, for the first time ever, my mother had felt completely out of her depth. Some small and wicked part of me giggled at the very idea. And let me tell you something, Rose Hathaway does _not_ giggle under any circumstances. Yet as I thought more about it, my mom's reaction was just the Pièce de résistance of the whole situation. And soon large, uncontrollable bursts of giggle were erupting out of me. Tears were running down my face as I held my sides and laughed harder than I ever had in my entire life. My stomach hurt and my breaths turned to laboured gasps as I tried to stop the sudden burst of craziness. The worried glances were soon being sent in my direction as my mother and Dimitri tried to see what exactly was so funny. "Rose, are you okay?" my mother asked. The look on her face made it clear that she was definitely questioning my sanity.

* * *

_Hey guys, I know this chapter is super short but I thought it'd be good to let you know that I haven't given up on this story. A big thank you to everyone still sticking with me; school and just Life in general has just been so incredibly busy but I promise the second my holidays begin I will try to update more often._

_ Hugs and Russian vodka,_  
_Uncomplicated.3_


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